Bill Gates, Elon Musk, José Mourinho, Pep Guardiola, Robbin Williams, Leonardo DiCaprio, Cristiano Ronaldo, Lionel Messi... and so many other successful and exceptional people we've heard of or met and of whom we often feel (healthy) envy for everything they've achieved and often dream of what it would be like to be in their place, to be like them...
But it seems that at the top of the world, where the successful people are, it's not all roses, not all good things. These people often have enormous levels of stress at work, are under constant pressure, have to make very complicated decisions every day, have little time for their families or to develop personal projects that don't have to do with work, and often have a huge amount of responsibility on their shoulders. Many are Pathological Workaholics (is that a Pleonasm?), giants with feet of clay who live in a precarious state of health. Many have no social life, some go weeks or even months without seeing their families and their social contacts are reduced. Many end up developing burnout and depression. Even in professions considered to be "prestigious" but with great responsibility, the levels of mental illness (including depression, burnout and substance abuse) are alarming. In Portugal, doctors, judges and lawyers are among the professionals with the worst mental health. The suicide rate among young doctors is higher than in the normal population. Are these all signs that success comes at a price, often too high?
On 26 January, the sporting world and beyond received a surprise and a shock: Jurgen Klopp, Liverpool's German manager, resigned. He would leave the club at the end of the season because he didn't feel strong enough. According to Klopp himself, he wants a "normal" life. He wants to stop and enjoy a "normal" life. He considers himself a "normal" person, but he doesn't have time to be "normal".
For those who don't follow football and don't know who Jurgen Klopp is, it can be briefly said that he is one of the great managers of modern football. A fan of high-pressing football, adored by Liverpool fans, he rescued the club from the doldrums and mediocrity in which it found itself. In the almost nine years that he coached the Beatles' hometown club, he brought them back to greatness and won seven titles, including the Champions League and the Premier League. He is known for being extremely emotional and, as well as being a great manager who is admired by his opponents, he is also admired for his personality and for the man he is. And so, out of the blue, he decided to stop. He had the courage to say enough, that he didn't feel strong enough to continue at this level and needed a break. As he said, and I say again, he needs to be "normal" again.
Being at the top is exhausting, especially at a big club, in the English league, the most competitive league in the world, where only the best of the best are. Staying at the top for over a decade, with its ups and downs, really consumes a person. What did he have to sacrifice? Well, something very important, which most of the time goes unnoticed because it's something we take for granted: being "normal".
Klopp wants to be "normal" again, as he puts it, he wants to spend a year being "normal". But what is "normal"? Normal is being able to spend time with your family, enjoying those little things in life that we take for granted, those walks in the park without being bothered, having the right to your privacy and that of your family. To be able to have a life and not be under constant pressure. It may sound simple, but in reality it's not. Our society is too success-orientated and doesn't value the small, simple things in life. Ask Jurgen Klopp when he last enjoyed a peaceful sunset. Or when was the last time he spent a quiet Christmas with his family? Let's not forget that in England there is a so-called "Boxing Day", when there are football matches on the day immediately after Christmas.
We so-called "normal" people often don't realise how lucky we are and how we are often envied by those we envy.
The reality is that Success is different for each person. While for someone it might be having a good job, earning a lot of money, having a big house and a big car, for someone else it might be having a family and living a quiet life. That's why it's so difficult to measure success.
But the "success" that is transmitted to us by the media and with which we are constantly bombarded is often unhealthy.
We hear about suicides, marathon working days, divorces, depression, sadness, rehabilitation clinics, and all this for what? For ephemeral "success", where in the end there are more regrets than victories?
When I worked in a psychiatric unit in Germany, I was in a clinic where there were only people of wealth, from the upper middle class in Germany. Let's say, business people, liberal professionals, entrepreneurs, managers, investors... They were in the clinic because some had depression, others burnout, others anxiety attacks... most of them had anxiety attacks... In psychotherapy, the same themes came up again and again: family, which was often neglected; the time they didn't have for themselves, for their own and for their own interests; the pressure they had to maintain the status quo; how they hated their job (so it wasn't a dream job?) and only did it for the financial reward; how society pressurised them to maintain a certain lifestyle that they didn't want; how a large part of the relationships they had or had were solely and exclusively out of interest; that others around them didn't see them as "normal" people, but as "different" "successful" people and that this created a barrier between them and others.
It was actually a very interesting experience for me, because it gave me a very different perspective on what I thought the life of "successful" people was like. And I learnt what it's like to be at the top. And I also realised that to be like a Jurgen Klopp you need courage. A lot of courage.
After all, going back to being "normal" after all we've sacrificed to be "successful" or achieve "success" can seem like a defeat. And in society's eyes it is a defeat, but for those who suffer from "success" it's the best thing to do.
You have to have the courage to stop, to breathe, to think about life, to make other plans, to let go of this "success" and look at reality, at what really matters to you. Stop for a year! Who can? Who wants to?
But it's a reality that's becoming more and more present in society. If you look at it, more and more people are leaving well-paid jobs and positions in finance and technology and looking for a job with a different purpose. A job where they feel fulfilled. But above all, a profession that lets you be, feel and be human. That the person is something more than a "successful person", that the person is a "normal person".
References:
Article originally published in State with Art
Article images courtesy of Freepick
One Response
It's interesting to see another side of success that is rarely discussed. We often see people like Bill Gates, Elon Musk, José Mourinho and many other successful figures as inspirational figures. Visit us Telkom University Jakarta